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Echoes Within

Support for All — No Cost Barriers, Just Healing

Category: Director’s Musings

  • Building Perfect Systems as Disguised Avoidance

    Building Perfect Systems as Disguised Avoidance

    Recently I had a therapy session where things seem to come down to: I have a problem with control. That is, I like to be in control. And that’s not surprising anyone who knows me.

    But the interesting part was when I really looked at it…Things like my to-do list, right? I’m always managing my to-do list. I was trying to move my to-do list into a new wrapper or to work in a different way. Websites are the same thing. I’m polishing the website, trying to edit it instead of actually posting things. Whether it’s posting a new post to the website or getting a to-do actually done, I’m always leaning into trying to make the system work.

    Spoiler: It’s not a system issue.

    I think sometimes it just comes back to just wanting to control things. It’s not a matter of trying to avoid getting things done. It’s a matter of trying to build a perfect productivity system, which actually…. is a way to avoid getting things done.

    Human written content; AI only used for structure and spell checking

  • Time To Be Consistent

    Time To Be Consistent

    Here is my standard daily templates which is what I supposedly use for time management.

    • ☐ 5:00–6:00 → Exercise
    • ☐ 6:00–7:00 → Relax with coffee, free flow
    • ☐ 7:00–7:30 → Prepare the day
    • ☐ 7:30–7:40 → Review Flashcards
    • ☐ 7:40–8:00 → Write
    • ☐ 8:00–9:00 → CRM
    • ☐ 9:00–10:00 → Task Hour
      ~ scan Task List and see what I can accomplish today.
    • ☐ 10:00–10:30 → Email
    • ☐ 10:30–11:00 → Short created & Posted
    • ☐ 11:00–12:00 → Lunch, Nap & Shower
    • ☐ 12:00 – 4:00 PM → Project Time
      ~ scan In Progress List and see what is today. From Kanban view, move anything scheduled for today from

    Now, I’m not saying I stick to this everyday – as a matter of fact, today I slept only about 6 hours so went back to bed after exercise and now I am at “7:40 – write” and it is really…11:10am already.

    But, it does help to be consistent.

    Successful people maintain specific routines because habitualness creates mood.

    By keeping to a consistent pattern, we remove two things – first, stress that comes from not being sure we are doing the ‘right thing’. And secondly, reducing decision fatigue by automating small task. What do I do at 5am? Get up. What do I do before coffee? Exercise. Will I have time to clear my email today? Yes, at 10am.

    Routine allows conscious decisions to guide your day instead of fears. It deactivates “fight or flight” responses by removing constant uncertainty.

    But don’t take my word for it. Create your own time block, stick to it for a week, and remember – use check boxes! Get that nice little ‘ahhh’ when you check something off.

    (h) certified human generated content

  • You Don’t Need Someone to Talk To, You Need Someone to Listen

    You Don’t Need Someone to Talk To, You Need Someone to Listen

    Have you ever started to share with someone and they quickly jump in with how you should solve your issue…when you haven’t actually explained what the issue is yet?

    I’ve learned to say “Do you want me to give you feedback, or just listen?”

    So at times we are asked for feedback and our perspective or ideas on solutions. Other times, we just want someone to listen and lets us process.

    Why It’s Important to Truly Listen

    A third scenario – and one of my favorites – is when we know we have the solution within us but need help shining a light on it. There are a few therapy modalities, such as David Grove’s Clean Language, that does just that. You don’t give the person feedback per se, but instead you give them room to hear what they are saying…and what they already know.

    It’s essential to create a safe space where we can truly listen to one another.

    Need to talk to someone? Or just be heard? We are here for you.

    Contact

    (h) certified human created content. AI may be used in title, SEO, or description.

  • This sucks! THIS SUCKS!!! or … maybe it doesn’t

    This sucks! THIS SUCKS!!! or … maybe it doesn’t

    I don’t like vegetables. I don’t mean I demonstrate against them or protest broccoli, I just don’t eat them.
    Then one day I decided to become a Buddhist monk and that specific path required being a vegetarian.

    Sometimes we are stuck in situations we don’t like. Someone sleeping nearby snores; unruly children running amok; that awesome coffee shop you found is playing religious music. We think “This sucks” and sit in our annoyance.

    What if we didn’t have to?

    What if instead we thought that this is a way to reframe a situation?
    Instead of being stuck thinking that something ‘sucks’, step back and see what we can learn. What we can experience. What is other peoples reality? Can be practice compassion for the parents of those kids; we grateful that people who follow that religion have a place to gather; etc.

    For me, I found out:

    • not only what lentils were, but that they are a pretty great soup
    • just because I didn’t like onions 20 years ago didn’t mean I didn’t like them now
    • zucchini raw? yuck. In a bread? Awesome!
    • the power of And. Cucumber AND humus. Celery AND peanut butter.

    -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
    (h) certified human created content

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  • I feel like I’m not good enough

    I feel like I’m not good enough

    I’ve had people say this to me…

    “I feel like I’m not good enough”

    Now, I could respond with the short answer of:
    “You are good enough”.

    But rarely does anyone say “Oh, thanks, I’ll just move along then”! So let dig in a bit.

    “I feel like I’m not good enough”
    Answer: “You’re thinking about this all wrong”.

    See, I’ve worked with lots of people struggling with self-confidence. And you know what separates the ones who stay stuck… from the ones who break through?

    They don’t try to control every single thought or outcome in their lives.

    Instead, they learn how to roll with whatever challenges show up. They get comfortable being uncomfortable with uncertainty.

    Granted, building confidence is not easy. Life throws curveballs. Big setbacks happen. Situations you’ve never faced before show up.

    And maybe you’ve frozen in a moment and that your inner voice screamed “I’m not ready for this!”.

    That just means your human.

    It might help to realize that you are not as far away from deep self confidence as you think. Truly confident people…

    • Don’t have all the answers. They just take the next step.
    • They have learned to stop overthinking every decision.
    • No more researching “what if” scenarios for hours.
    • No more wondering if you’re capable enough.

    You are capable enough. You just need to learn some tools.

    -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

    Need Assistance with your mental wellness?

    Find out how Echoes Within can assist you.
    Click here -> https://www.echoeswithin.org/services/

    Want to keep up with all the going ones with Echoes Within?

    Newsletter link – > https://www.echoeswithin.org/newsletter/

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    Donate here – > https://www.echoeswithin.org/donate/

  • Hug or Kick?

    In 1989 I was arrested for the second time for ‘possession of a controlled dangerous substance’. My previous arrest was a month before that.

    As I faced the reality that I was an addict and started the process to be a recovering addict, I had a number of mentors (sponsors) along the way helping me to learn to live a life free of drugs.

    Throughout the years I had two primary types of people that helped me. One was the ‘hug’ style. These were the people who, whatever was going on, responded to it with compassion and kindness and reassurance that everything would be ok. This was very valuable when I felt like things were falling apart and that, in my mid 20’s, life was totally screwed up beyond repair.

    The other type was the ‘kick’ style – as in, a kick in the ass. These folks were more ‘Ya, like is hard, get up and fix it’. They were all about me taking responsibility for what I could and staying focused that if I want change, I needed to change.

    Both are valid. If you are aware of 12 Step programs, then you will likely know one of the creeds is ‘Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference’. It is a pretty wise creed as these things go.

    As I have developed my own mentoring and therapeutic approach to others, I’ve tried my best to be balanced between these two styles. Because I do believe that sometimes we all need a hug, a cuddle from a dog, a warm word and assurance that it will be ok. And sometimes we need that person who reminds us to get up and get cracking, that if we don’t do anything then nothing will change, that we are the stewards of our own path.

    (certified human content)